Buttercream Frosting (and Brownies too!)

Warning: this is not a recipe to be fooled around with. This frosting is possibly the richest, most decadent thing I’ve ever put into my mouth. It is, in fact, the first homemade item I learned to make that I had to admit was better than the store-bought counterpart. Seriously, that little can of frosting has nothing on this stuff.

The recipe is very basic, it’s just a question of making sure each ingredient you use is GFCF. [As always, my brands were verified GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change their formulas without notice. Always double-check your ingredient lists.] Start with one stick of melted Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine (not salted original), 1 tsp McCormick’s vanilla, and three Tablespoons of your preferred milk substitute. I used almond milk this time since I had some in the fridge and it’s a little richer than rice milk, but either is fine.

Dump in one entire box of Domino powdered sugar (also called confectioner’s sugar, or 10-x sugar.) Did you see that? An entire box of sugar on top of a whole stick of margarine. That, my friends, is why this stuff tastes so good, and why your hips may not thank you later.

Beat it with a hand mixer, and frosting magically appears. It’s so simple, it’s practically criminal. You can use this frosting on any kind of gluten-free cake or cupcake that you want.

Me, I sometimes put it on brownies.

I know, I know. Frosted brownies? That makes no sense! But it’s what I like, and I’m just keeping it real. Pretend it’s a chocolate cake, if that makes you feel better. I’m fond of a lot of Bob’s Red Mill products, and the brownie mix is no exception. Also, Bob happens to look just like one of my relatives, right down to the beret and yellow shirt and everything. It’s kind of spooky.

Just following the package directions here, first you want to melt a stick and a half of margarine in the microwave. Don’t start thinking about the total amount of fat that’s going into this dish. Instead, just remind yourself that margarine is way healthier than butter, and that makes it all okay, right?

Meanwhile, mix together one egg and 2 tsp vanilla.

Now, I deviate from the bag recipe and add 2 TBS of sugar. The final product just doesn’t taste very much like brownies to me without it. It’s more like… chocolate bread, I guess. Trust me, it needs the sugar.

Dump in the melted margarine and the entire bag of brownie mix, then add 3/4 cup water and mix well. It’s really hard to mix it by hand, because this batter is thick.

But on the other hand, if you choose to use a hand mixer, you are guaranteed to end up with a little chocolate tornado trying to climb the beaters, and you’ll have to stop the mixer every 5 seconds or so to scrape it back down. It’s your choice.

Now, this part is important. After you’ve scraped the whole mess into a greased 9×13 baking dish, you have to get it to settle properly into place. Normal batters do this part on their own, but normal batters also make my kid a raving lunatic, so we have to work with what we’ve got. Get your hand very wet in the sink, and gently push the batter down as if you were shaping playdough.

As soon as it starts to stick to your fingers, put them back under the faucet and get them really wet again. Just keep pushing and smoothing until you have a nice, flat, normal-looking pan of brownie batter.

The bag says bake for 20-25 minutes at 350 degrees, but it always takes longer than that for me, especially if I use a glass baking dish. See my messy toothpick? This batch of brownies was ultimately in the oven for 45 minutes before the toothpick came out clean.

And now we can put the frosting on this lovely chocolate cake that I got from somewhere else. Nobody’s been putting frosting on any brownies around here, no sirree… But here’s another important tip: make absolutely sure that your brownies or cake or whatever has cooled completely before you apply the frosting. Since it doesn’t have a whole bunch of chemicals and gluten holding it together, this frosting will start to break down if it’s subjected to anything warmer than room temperature.

It’s a well-known scientific principle that rainbow sprinkles make everything more delicious. Not that this frosting needs any help.

Happy Eating!

Buttercream Frosting

1 box Domino powdered sugar
1 stick Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine (not salted original)
3-4 TBS almond or rice milk
1 tsp McCormick vanilla

Bob’s Red Mill brownies

1 bag Bob’s Red Mill Brownie Mix
1 1/2 sticks Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine (not salted original)
1 egg
2 tsp McCormick’s vanilla
2 TBS sugar