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First, take a 2-3 pound pork roast, and place it in your dutch oven (or a crock pot, if you must.) This particular cut of meat is called a Boston Butt, so excuse me while I snicker like an 8-year-old. You should always place slow-cooked meat fat side up, by the way. I like to put a sliced-up onion in there as well. It’s not really to eat, it just kind of adds flavor to the vapors as the meat cooks. I’m convinced it makes a difference, anyway, but you could skip it I guess.

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I used to have this whole dry spice rub procedure, but it always ended up making a kind of crust on the meat — which is great, if you’re slicing it, but we’re shredding this meat, and a stiff outer layer just gets in the way. Better to cook the meat plain, and put the spices in the sauce. So just give it a liberal splashing of Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce for now. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

Now put the lid on and stick it in a 350 degree oven for 3-4 hours. (Or set your crock pot to HIGH for 3-4 hours if you’re doing it that way. But make sure that crock pot lid is on tight, or all your moisture will escape and your meat will be tough and chewy.)

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A few minutes before your meat’s ready to come out, prepare the sauce. Now, this is a traditional Kentucky barbecue sauce, which means it’s vinegar-based. If you’d rather just slather yours with a Southern style (i.e., thicker and sweeter) barbecue sauce, that’s your call. I’m a fence-sitter in the great barbecue sauce debate: I prefer Southern style for brisket, and Kentucky style for pulled pork.

Start with 1 cup of apple cider vinegar. Please ignore the really ugly label; this is the good stuff, I assure you. It tastes better than the processed kind, and it’s better for you too. But if you do get another brand, be sure that it’s not “apple cider flavored” vinegar, because that might contain gluten.

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Add in 1/2 cup of Heinz ketchup…

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1 Tablespoon of white sugar…

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And 2 Tablespoons of brown sugar.

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Then add 1/2 Tablespoon each of salt and white pepper. You could substitute black pepper, but the white pepper is more subtle.

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Will you look at that beauty? It’s still in the dutch oven in this shot because I couldn’t even get it onto a serving plate in one piece, that’s how tender it is. Falling apart!

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This is what’s become of my onion, by the way. On the one hand, no, you wouldn’t want to eat this slag formerly known as a vegetable. But on the other hand, that little pile used to be an entire giant onion. Where did the rest of it go? Flavoring the pork, that’s where!

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Scrape at the chunks of meat with two forks until it’s all nice and shredded.

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Then pour in your sauce. Depending on how large your roast is, you may not need all of it. I start with about 2/3 of the mixture and then add more as necessary. You want everything coated, but without a large puddle at the bottom of the bowl.

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It’s time to warm up our gluten-free buns! Our store started carrying this Kinnikinnick brand, and it immediately became our new favorite. I have served these to people who didn’t know they were gluten-free, and they honestly had no idea. Like most other prepared gluten-free breads, you just store them in the freezer and then microwave however many you need when it’s time to eat.

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I think this picture speaks for itself. If you’ll excuse me, I have some chowing down to do.

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Happy Eating!

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The GFCF Lady’s Pulled Pork Sandwiches

2-3 lb. pork roast
1 onion
2-3 TBS Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce

1 cup Bragg apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup Heinz ketchup
1 TBS white sugar
2 TBS brown sugar
1/2 TBS salt
1/2 TBS white pepper
Kinnikinnick hamburger buns

You’d think boiling the eggs would be a no-brainer, but you’ve got to do it right or they won’t peel cleanly. Start with 18 eggs in a pot of cold water, and turn the heat to high. Once the water reaches a rolling boil (that is, giant bubbles splashing everywhere, not tiny little simmery things,) then start your timer for 15 minutes.

You’re destined to lose a few eggs during the boiling process, like this one that exploded spectacularly underwater right before my eyes. But we can still use the yolk in the filling mixture, and the white can be set aside for taste-testing purposes. I can always find at least a couple that are just not pretty enough to go on the plate, and I have no choice but to eat them right then and there.

Once you’ve drained the pot, set it in the sink and refill it with cold water, then plunge the eggs back in. This will cause the insides to shrink back from the shell, and they will come out nice and smooth when you peel them.

Then cut all those little suckers in half lengthwise…

And drop the yolks into a large mixing bowl. If they’re cooked right, you should be able to just give the egg a little squeeze and it will pop right out.

Mash them up with a fork until you’ve gotten all the large lumps out.

Okay, sure, there can be a few lumps left. We’ll continue to work on those as we add the wet ingredients. First, mix in 3 Tablespoons of French’s yellow mustard. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas at any time. Always check your labels!]

Then add 2 Tablespoons of pickle relish. Most major brands are gluten free, but sadly enough some aren’t, so double check yours. It’s up to you whether you go for sweet or dill relish — generally I would say dill, but this time I’m using a spicy-sweet specialty brand called Wickles. I could eat that stuff with a spoon, I tell you.

Then add 1 Tablespoon of Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce (make sure you use the original flavor, as their lighter “chicken” worcestershire sauce is not dairy-free.)

And 1/4 teaspoon of McCormick’s celery salt.

Finally, add in 2/3 cup of Hellman’s mayonnaise. As a relatively bland ingredient, the mayonnaise’s role is entirely for smoothing out the texture. So to that end, you don’t want to put in too much, or your filling will get runny, and then the only way to fix it will be to boil more eggs and harvest the extra yolks. I personally like to go cautiously and start with 1/2 cup of mayo, and add in more as necessary, but I freely admit that I take my deviled eggs very seriously.

Swipe about a Tablespoon of filling into each egg half with a spoon, smoothing the top a little so it’s at least moderately attractive. If you want to get really fancy, you can scrape the filling into an icing bag and squirt it in all decoratively. But an upside-down spoon’s good enough for me.

Finally, sprinkle the tops with paprika. Such a pretty spice.

And you’re ready to go! This is an especially nice hors d’oeuvre if you’re trying to cook a GFCF holiday meal for extended family members who aren’t used to eating on strange diets, because other than some judicious brand selection on your part, the ingredients are the same as you would find in a traditional recipe. Heck, with the right collection of recipes, your family might even get through the whole meal without realizing it was restricted to begin with.

Happy Eating!

The GFCF Lady’s Deviled Eggs

18 eggs
3 TBS French’s yellow mustard
2 TBS Wickles relish
1 TBS Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire
1/4 tsp McCormick celery salt
2/3 cup Hellman’s mayonnaise

Our sauce base today is this organic, gluten-free hoisin sauce by Edward & Sons. (They also make great instant potatoes, by the way, as well as all-natural GFCF sprinkles for cupcakes.) [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

Note that not all of the Edward & Sons sauces are gluten free, just this one and their teriyaki sauce. And if you look closely at the bottle, you’ll also learn how to say “gluten free” in French! Actually, that may be “without wheat,” I’m not sure. Either way, “bleh” is an appropriate syllable for it, don’t you think? If you want to have a go at making an approximation of this sauce yourself, it’s mostly soy sauce (make sure yours is GF!), apple cider vinegar, sugar, orange juice, sesame oil, and Five Spice. An Asian-y barbecue sauce, really.

So pour out 1/4 cup of the hoisin sauce, and add 2 Tablespoons of honey…

…and 1 1/2 Tablespoons of Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce.

Now, cut up about a pound of beef steak into bite-size pieces, and mix them in the bowl with the sauce. Give them as much time to marinate as you can, but don’t sweat it if it isn’t that long. Usually I end up just letting it sit long enough for me to cook the mushrooms. What mushrooms, you ask?

These mushrooms! Sautee 8 oz. of fresh mushrooms in some olive oil until they’re mostly cooked, a good 8-10 minutes.

While you wait, get out 1/2 cup of dried cranberries, and soak them in some water. I know I use cranberries a lot, but if you don’t like the taste you could always use dried cherries or even golden raisins instead.

Meanwhile, start cooking your rice. 1 1/2 cups of rice is a good complement for the amount of stir fry we’re making, but of course you could do more or less depending on how many people you’re trying to feed.

Man, I always forget how much mushrooms shrink when you cook them. Dump in your meat-sauce concoction and let the meat brown, stirring occasionally. I know it isn’t truly a stir fry unless you have it over very high heat and are stirring constantly, but that’s a bad idea here because it will burn off the sauce too quickly. I won’t tell if you won’t.

And just for a little crunch, let’s toast 1/2 cup of almonds and throw them in there too. I always stock both almonds and cranberries in the pantry, not only for cooking but for sprinkling on salads as well. If your preference is for walnuts, or cashews, or pine nuts, those are all fine and dandy too. It’s a stir fry, do whatever you want! The easiest way to toast the nuts is to microwave them in a bowl one minute at a time, tossing them gently in between, until they crunch when you bite them (instead of squeaking.)

We’re almost there! Drain the cranberries (or other dried fruit of your choice,) and dump them in the pan along with the almonds.

And that’s it! Serve over rice, and sit back and watch the smiles on their faces. Well, don’t sit back too long, you’ll want to eat your own before it gets cold.

Happy Eating!

The GFCF Lady’s beef stir fry

1/4 cup Premier Japan (Edward & Sons) Hoisin sauce
2 TBS honey
1 1/2 TBS Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce
1 lb. beef steak
8 oz. mushrooms
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup slivered almonds
1 1/2 cups rice

Simple is best, y’all. Simple is best. Add about a Tablespoon of Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce to a pound of lean ground beef. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change their formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

Divide into equal balls, and smoosh them right in the pan. If you believe it’s sacrilege to cook burgers on the stove instead of on a grill, I cordially invite you to come stand on my back porch in the 90% humidity, when it’s still 95 degrees even after the sun’s gone down, and count the number of mosquitos that bite you before you come around to my way of thinking.

Are there recipes for making your own GF hamburger buns out there? Sure. And maybe someday I’ll work up the energy to experiment with them. But I figure I do so much cooking and baking as it is, I allow myself to splurge on some of the basics that do have commercially-premade versions available. I’ve honestly found that the amount of money I save by no longer buying dairy products far outweighs the extra cost of a few GF hamburger buns. Cheese is expensive! Anyway, Gillian’s is our favorite brand. Whole Foods carries them, in a little freezer case next to the bakery. The texture is more like a biscuit than a typical hamburger bun, but for what it’s worth it’s a darn good biscuit. These are also especially useful if only some members of the household are eating GFCF, or if you’re trying to host non-GFCF guests at a cookout, because you can just heat up one at a time as you need. Just remember, if you toast your buns, never do it in the same pan or grill that you toasted the gluten buns on!

The burgers ought to be done after about 7 minutes per side over medium heat, but to be honest I never really pay that close attention. I just busy myself with pulling out all the fixings, slicing the tomato, warming up the buns and cutting them in half… and round about the time I’m finished the burgers are too. Do pay attention to your brands, as there are unsafe versions of all of these condiments. If you’re one of those heathens who puts mayonnaise on burgers, go for Hellman’s. It’s not pictured here because I’ve raised my children right, you see.

And if you just can’t have a burger without cheese, you can always go for rice cheese slices. I wouldn’t, but you (and the GFCF Husband) certainly could.

Happy Eating!

Hamburgers

1 lb. lean ground beef
1 TBS Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce
1 pkg. Gillian’s GF French rolls
Heinz ketchup
French’s mustard
Hellman’s mayonnaise
Vlasic pickles
tomato
lettuce
onion

When cooking for kids, often the texture of a dish is just as important–if not more important–than the taste. And one thing kids are not usually fond of is chunks, especially “chunks coated in slime,” which is how I once heard a particularly eloquent young lady describe potato salad. Mashed potatoes, on the other hand, are always a big hit, at least with all the kids I’ve ever met. Thus, I present to you the best of both worlds: Smashed Potato Salad!

We start with 3 lbs. of medium gold potatoes, cut into quarters.

Boil them until fork-tender, about 10-15 minutes.

Meanwhile, hardboil 3 eggs. (That’s 15 minutes at a full rolling boil, in case no one’s ever specified. I used to have so much trouble peeling my hardboiled eggs until I discovered by accident that I wasn’t cooking them quite long enough.)

While those pots are going, mix together 3/4 cup Hellmann’s mayonnaise, 1/4 cup Grey Poupon, 1 TBS brown sugar, and 2 TBS lemon juice. [As always, the brand names I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change their formulas without warning. Always double-check your labels.]

Stir until the sugar has fully dissolved, and then add 1/2 tsp Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce, 1 tsp pepper, and 1 tsp salt.

When the potatoes are done, drain them and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking process.

See how the peels just fall right off after the potatoes are cooked? It’s so much easier than scraping them all by hand with a vegetable peeler.

After you’ve discarded the peels, mash the potatoes. It’s up to you how chunky you want the final product to be, but I recommend nothing bigger than a half-inch or so.

If I can crack an egg with one hand, you’d better believe I can peel one with one hand, too. I just love action shots with water, they always look so cool. Anyway, as you can see, the eggs are done and now we’re peeling them.

And now we’re using my favorite kitchen tool of all time, the egg slicer. I wish everything were this fun to dice.

Add 1 tsp of minced garlic (or two cloves, if you have fresh garlic lying around, but I never do, so I use this handy jarred stuff.)

Make sure the potato mixture is cool, and then add in the dressing. Stir and stir until it’s completely incorporated. Now, this is one of those dishes that needs to sit in the refrigerator for awhile to let the flavors mellow and blend. Trust me, if you taste it now, you’ll say to yourself, “Ugh! That’s way too overpowering, no child would ever eat that! The GFCF Lady is a fraud!” But let it sit for at least an hour, and the potatoes will soak up all those delicious flavors and balance everything out, I promise.

Oh man, that’s what I’m talking about. I could eat this stuff all day long.

Happy Eating!

The GFCF Lady’s Smashed Potato Salad

3 lbs. medium gold potatoes
3 eggs
3/4 cup Hellman’s mayonnaise
1/4 cup Grey Poupon
1 TBS brown sugar
2 TBS lemon juice
1/2 tsp Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp salt
1 tsp (2 cloves) minced garlic