First, we’ll prepare the hollandaise sauce. The basic ingredients are butter and egg yolks, so it is not exactly a heart-healthy menu item. But boy, does it taste good. Here we will start with one whole stick (1/2 cup) of Fleischmann’s Unsalted Margarine (NOT the Original flavor, as that contains casein.) Your list of possible substitutes is going to be a bit truncated here, since it will need to be butter-flavored, but some other options include ghee, Earth Balance spread, and Spectrum butter-flavored shortening. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

Gently melt it in the microwave, inside a measuring cup. We’re going to need that handle and pouring spout later.

Separate 4 eggs, and place the yolks in a metal bowl. To separate an egg, crack it over a bowl and pass the yolk back and forth between the two shell halves, and the white will just fall off. I throw the whites away, but I guess you could make an egg-white omelette with them, or maybe whip them into a meringue for that pie you just had sitting around.

Add 1 Tablespoon of lemon juice, and whisk the egg yolks very rapidly for a few minutes, long past when your arm starts hurting and you have to switch the other one. They say it’s done when the mixture has doubled in volume, but I’m not a good judge of that sort of thing, so I just do it until I can’t stand it anymore.

Now, this is why it needed to be in a metal mixing bowl. If you don’t have a metal bowl, you can use the top half of a double-boiler, or just a regular metal pot that will fit snugly inside the rim of another pot like we have here. But it’s easier to whisk in something that has a rounded bottom, especially when it’s turned sideways so you can whisk in an up-and-down motion instead of around in flat circles.

That bottom pot contains water, heated to just barely simmering. This way we will gently heat the sauce without allowing it to get above 212 degrees F (the boiling point of water,) and thus not end up with scrambled eggs. And yes, I know my pot isn’t actually on the burner anymore. I was turning the handle around this way and that, trying to get a good angle on the bowl-inside-a-pot for you to see. That, or maybe my super power is getting water to boil without any heat, and I’ve just blown my cover.

Keep whisking — yes, more! — while you gently stream in the melted margarine from the microwave. I only stopped whisking to try to take a quick picture, don’t be like me (unless you, too, have a website with lots of people wondering why you haven’t updated in over two dang weeks!)

Look, more whisking! When the sauce has thickened from the gentle heat and again doubled in volume, you’re done.

Well, almost. Add in a pinch of salt and a pinch of cayenne pepper, unless you’d rather garnish the final product with the cayenne on top. There’s only so far I’ll bother going for presentation, and I’d rather not delay eating for even a moment once these babies are ready. Also, my kids are usually like, “OMG that’s got spices on it, it must be spicy!” and I’d rather not listen to it.

Cover the pot and stick it in a warm spot while you assemble everything else. This is not something you want to make ahead of time and store in the fridge for awhile, since it’s made with raw eggs. (Though before you go freaking out about the thought of eating raw eggs to begin with, remember that fried eggs with even slightly runny yolks are also technically raw.) If you’re really concerned, you could buy those pasteurized eggs they have at the store now.

Okay, so! The rest of the meal. Properly speaking, this should be on English muffins, and there are a few gluten-free brands out there. But they’re harder to come by, so I go for the simpler solution and just put them on O’Dough’s hamburger buns instead, which are appropriately dense. And of course Canadian bacon is a processed meat, so you have to make sure it’s GF as well. This Hormel product says it right on the back of the package, so that’s convenient.

Put several inches of water in a wide pan, bring it to a simmer, and ignore the rest of the photo. The chef who told me to do that thing you see me doing above is a complete liar. It has no quantifiable effect. The man is a charlatan and a scoundrel, and I have told him so to his face. He suggested pistols at dawn, or something, I can’t remember.

If you’re really deft, you can crack the eggs directly into the poaching pan. But I find it helpful to crack them into a little measuring cup first…

…and very gently slide them into the water, which should be just barely simmering by now.

Boy they do look ugly while they’re cooking, don’t they? But you see how the one on the right has a clearly defined central blob of egg white, with the thin skirt around it? That skirt bit is going to mostly fall away and cloud up your pan some more, the blob is the real part of the egg we want.

Cook them for exactly 3 1/2 minutes to achieve soft-set but still slightly flowing yolks, then scoop them out with a slotted spoon. Also, let’s blame the blurriness of this photo on the steam from the pan, rather than my palsied, uncoordinated hands.

Drizzle with hollandaise sauce, and dig in! You might want to serve this with some fruit or something, so you don’t feel guilty about all that extra sauce you know you’re going to put on.

Happy Eating!

Eggs Benedict

4 egg yolks
1 TBS lemon juice
1/2 cup Fleischmann’s Unsalted margarine (NOT Original)
pinch of salt
pinch of cayenne pepper

6 eggs
1 pkg GF canadian bacon
3 GF english muffins (or GF hamburger buns)

This isn’t exactly a complicated recipe, but you know what? Before I was dragged kicking and screaming into Susie Homemaker land, I had never made french toast before, and I have to assume there are others of you out there who never have yet either. And you should! Because it really is a great way to make an otherwise questionable loaf of gluten-free bread into something enjoyable by all. And if you actually start with a good loaf of GF bread, so much the better!

First, blend together 3 eggs and 1/2 cup of almond milk in a dish with relatively tallish sides.

Next, mix in 1 teaspoon of cinnamon. Some people like to add sugar as well, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Many milk substitutes are already sweetened anyway, and I honestly have never seen the need to turn breakfast into dessert. Eating sugar all the time is part of what’s turned the average Western diet into the atrocity that it is.

Some people actually like to keep the cinnamon separate and demurely sprinkle it on each bread slice after it has been dipped in the egg mixture. Me, I’m not a fan of additional steps, but it’s not like this whole thing takes many steps to begin with, so do whatever you feel up to.

Just a couple of minutes per side in a greased pan on the stove, and you’re good to go! The problem, of course, is that they’ll be able to eat them just about as fast as you can make them, so make sure you cordon off a few slices as sacrosanct for the chef.

Eat them standing up if you have to, but make sure you get some. And here’s another tip: if you forego the syrup and spread jelly on it instead, you can make a decadent gluten-free sandwich that can make it until midday in a lunchbox without fear of drying out or crumbling.

Happy Eating!

French Toast

3 eggs
1/2 cup almond milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
8-10 slices gluten-free bread

Indeed, when shellfish are the main course, they can be quite lovely, as I will demonstrate today. First, we have to prepare three bowls. In bowl number one, we will start with 1/3 cup of potato starch (or tapioca starch, or cornstarch, or arrowroot starch… yeah, it totally doesn’t matter.) Then with a fork, blend in 1 teaspoon of salt…

…and 3/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper.

Bowl number two should contain 3 egg whites. To separate an egg white from the yolk, just crack the shell over the bowl, and carefully pass the yolk back and forth between the two halves a few times. The white will slip right off and fall into your bowl. Toss the yolks in the trash with the shells, unless you have some other random thing you want to do with them. But please don’t tell me what it is; this is a family blog.

Beat the egg whites aggressively with a fork for a minute or two, until it gets really foamy.

If you did this long enough, you’d end up with a meringue. But it would take a long time, your arm would get sore, and you’d have no lemon pie to put it on anyway. So this right here is foamy enough for our needs.

And finally, in bowl number three we will put about a cup of flaked coconut. I like this kind from Bob’s Red Mill, because it contains no preservatives, added sugars, or anything else gunky, just plain coconut. But you can get the wet kind from the baking aisle too, if you want.

Finally, we’re ready to start cooking! Don’t worry, it goes fast from here on out. The amounts we put in the bowls will cover about 3/4 lb of shrimp, though of course you could do more or less to suit your family’s needs. I bought my shrimp pre-shelled and deveined, because I have neither the dexterity nor the time for such a ridiculous task. Grab one by the tail…

Flop it around in the starch mixture…

Dip it in the frothy egg whites…

And stick a bunch of coconut to it. Make sure you get your hands all messy too, that’s important.

Repeat the tar-and-feathering process, placing each shrimp on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper as you go. Technically foil will work too, but you have to oil it pretty thoroughly to prevent the little guys from sticking. Nothing ever sticks to parchment paper. Then, bake them in the oven at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes, turning them over about halfway through.

Look how golden and crunchy they are, with absolutely no frying necessary! It’s kind of this weird tradition that you’re supposed to eat coconut shrimp with orange marmalade. I really don’t know where that idea came from, but the GFCF Husband considered it important, so I tried to oblige as best I could. I used Cascadian Farms apricot jelly (which I have on hand because I also use it in this fantastic recipe,) and mixed in a few drops of lemon juice for more of a citrus-y tang. It worked well enough I guess, since their plates were almost empty before I even got to sit down.

Happy Eating!

Coconut Shrimp

1/3 cup potato starch
1 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cayenne pepper
3 egg whites
1 cup shredded coconut
3/4 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined

Optional:
1/4 cup Cascadian Farm apricot jelly
1/4 tsp lemon juice

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The newer you are to this diet, the luckier you are, because more and more high-quality items are coming out on the market every day. And this one is mind-blowing, there’s just no other description for it. Dairy-free, soy-free, whipping cream, that tastes and feels just like the real thing. For really reals, y’all. It’s called Healthy Top, by a company called MimicCreme.  I don’t know that I’d call it “healthy,” to be honest. It is a processed food, and does contain some thickeners and emulsifiers. But it has no artificial dyes, flavors, or sweeteners, and more importantly it contains not a speck of dairy.

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Seriously, you have to try it to believe it. Add a little more sugar and you could frost cupcakes with this stuff, it’s so thick and creamy. How they made this with cashews and almonds, I’ll never know. Anyway, get one box really cold like the instructions say, whip it up, and put it back in the fridge until you’re ready for it. Or, you know, save this step for last, if you want to be all efficient about it.

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Next, pudding. Crack two eggs into a small pot on the stove.

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Pour in 2 cups of the milk substitute of your choice.

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Add 1/3 cup of sugar…

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…and 1/4 teaspoon of Adam’s Extract vanilla. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!] I use this powdered version, but the Adam’s Extract liquid is also fine. The reason you have to check your vanilla extracts is because they’re suspended in alcohol, which could be malted from barley, which would mean gluten. It’s a complicated world we live in.

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What you have in your pot right now is (or will be soon) vanilla pudding. You now have a critical decision to make. Are you truly going to make banana pudding, or are you going to layer slices of banana with vanilla pudding? Different people like it different ways. I’m pureeing the bananas for real banana pudding, so you can look carefully at the final product and decide if it’s the way you want to go or not, because fresh banana pudding doesn’t quite look like the boxed junk you are used to seeing. So that’s three bananas, blended with just a splash of almond milk to thin it out.

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Here it is, pouring into the pot.

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Cook the pudding just until it starts to boil, stirring frequently. Remove the pot from the heat and allow it to cool, then refrigerate for 20-40 minutes, until it’s set.

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Er… hopefully your fridge has more space than mine.

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But what, you may ask, can you substitute for vanilla wafers? Well, these ladyfinger cookies from Shabtai Gourmet are an excellent facsimile thereof. In general everything they offer is superb. They are a bit on the expensive side, as all gluten-free products tend to be. But for the right occasion, I indulge, because I firmly believe that taking care of myself has to be a priority if I’m going to be in any shape to take care of my kids. Most of their items freeze very well, so you can use the flat-rate shipping and buy in advance. (Unsolicited tip: the Raspberry Roll? Holy cow. Just… dang.)

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You will now start to see why all-natural banana pudding may not be your cup of tea. Real fruit oxidizes, and pureed fruit oxidizes faster than whole fruit, because more of it is exposed to the air. It has not gone bad by any means, but it is going to first get khaki-colored like this, and then almost kind of purply-gray if many hours pass before you eat it. Flavor will be unaffected, but not everyone wants to eat purplish banana pudding. On the other hand, some kids are more affected by texture than color, and won’t appreciate banana slices hiding in their dessert like slimy round ninjas. It’s up to you.

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Layer cookies, pudding, (bananas,) cookies, then whipped cream in a 9 x 13 dish.

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Spread your whipped cream globs into a smooth layer with the back of a spoon. One box makes 4 cups of whipped cream, so it will be a pretty thick layer if you use all of it. You could always make more pudding. And then if you don’t have enough whipped cream to cover the second batch of pudding, you could make more whipped cream, and…

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Happy Eating!

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GFCF Banana Pudding

2 eggs
2 cups almond milk
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
3 bananas (plus a splash of almond milk if pureed)
1 box Healthy Top whippable cream
1-2 packages Shabtai lady fingers

On the one hand, I would say this is not a cookbook for beginners. This is the one you’ll want to have around when you’re ready to really show off your mad skillz. Say, when all this hard work you’re doing finally pays off, and your formerly-autistic, recently-engaged child wants you to bake them a GFCF Champagne-Cointreau Chiffon wedding cake. (I’ve got that page bookmarked, myself.) But on the other hand, the whole first half of the book is an incredibly detailed breakdown of how to get started on the diet, including a whopping 34-page shopping guide. So I sure could have used it back in the early days, too. C’est la vie.

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The thing is, being a European, Chef Braux gives all the ingredients by weight. Fortunately, I speak French-measurements (as opposed to actual French, which I definitely do not speak,) and have translated for you here. Start with 2 cans of Thai Kitchen coconut milk. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

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I do actually own a little kitchen scale, for occasions such as this. All the recipes in this cookbook are in American ounces, but if you’re going to bother getting a scale, it’s important to choose one that can convert to metric (grams) as well. The truth is, weight is often a better way to do things, especially when baking. First off, you can fit up to 50% more or less flour into a “cup,” depending on how much you pack it down; what’s more, different flours have different densities, so if you substitute one GF flour for another you’ll end up with a completely different result — unless you use the same number of ounces, rather than the same size. But for things like sugar… meh. The recipe called for 12 ounces…

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…which ended up being exactly 2 cups of sugar. Go figure.

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Next, we’re going to mix in some shredded coconut. The more familiar bags of wet coconut that you find in the baking aisle should be gluten-free, but they’re also packed with preservatives. I prefer this stuff, but whatever floats your boat.

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Important lesson here: the recipe called for 4 ounces of coconut, or 1/3 the weight of the sugar. But because coconut is so much lighter, this ended up being a little over 1 cup of shredded coconut, or more than half as much quantity as the sugar. You definitely can’t switch back and forth between weight and size on an even ratio.

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Anyway, dump your coconut into your bowl, and add 1/4 teaspoon of salt.

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Also mix in 2 teaspoons of Adam’s Extract vanilla. Vanilla is one of those sneaky things that can often contain gluten, but Adam’s Extract is gluten-free in both liquid and powder form.

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Scramble six eggs and blend them thoroughly into your custard batter, making sure there are no random yellow streaks left floating around in there.

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Now, a proper gourmet chef would use ramekins to cook their individual servings of custard. But if I have taught you anything, it is that I am not a gourmet chef, and most of the time I’m not even proper. So instead I am using these silicone baking cups, which happen to be heart-shaped for added cuteness. They’re great for muffins and jello too, by the way.

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Set them inside a large baking dish with sides, and fill each cup with batter.

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Then carefully pour water into the baking dish, until it comes halfway up the sides of the custard cups. This will ensure an even temperature around your delicate little desserts. Pop them in a 350 degree oven for about 30-40 minutes, until the tops feel somewhat firm and the center is no longer jiggly. The larger your baking cups, the longer it will take to cook.

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While that’s cooking, we’re going to make a delicious fruit sauce to go on top, which I’m told is a coulis in French. The recipe suggested raspberries, but I didn’t have any, so strawberries it shall be. Thaw about 1/2 cup of whatever fruit you want for one minute in the microwave (or use fresh fruit, and use the extra minute to feel smug about it.)

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Then add 1/4 cup powdered sugar. Watch your ingredients carefully here! Sugar doesn’t actually come in “powder” form, instead they take cane juice and add it to an existing powder base. Usually it’s corn starch, but it can often include regular flour as well, so double check. The best ones will use tapioca starch instead.

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Add 1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice to the mixture…

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And blend away! It’s hard to do such a small quantity in a regular blender, but a food processor or immersion blender will get the job done.

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When your coconut custards come out of the oven, refrigerate them until you’re ready to serve, at least an hour or two. Drizzle some of your strawberry coulis on top, and revel in your gourmet skills. Heck, I might even buy myself a tall white hat.

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Bon Appetit!

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Coconut Custard with Strawberry Sauce

2 cans Thai Kitchen coconut milk
2 cups sugar
1 cup shredded coconut
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
6 eggs

1/2 cup strawberries
1/4 cup GF powdered sugar
1/4 tsp lemon juice

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Plus, there’s so much less room for error this way. I mean come on, the crust is only five ingredients! With other recipes you might have to blend five flours before you even start with the other ingredients. But here, all we need is 1 1/2 cups of Honeyville almond flour. This crust recipe comes from The Gluten Free Almond Flour Cookbook, by the way, which is about as accurate a book title as you’re ever going to find.

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Add 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda, and blend it together evenly with a fork.

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Then pour in 1/4 cup grapeseed oil (or whatever cooking/baking oil you prefer,) and 2 Tablespoons of agave nectar, and mix thoroughly. You could also substitute honey for the agave nectar if you like. There is a taste difference, but it’s hard to notice over the abundant pumpkin flavor.

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Mix everything thoroughly, and there’s your pie crust, in crumbly form! Now you just have to press it in place, kind of like you would with a homemade graham cracker crust, if graham crackers weren’t poison in this new universe you’re living in.

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For the sides of the pie pan, I find it helpful to squeeze a small handful tightly in my palm in order to get a little cohesion going before I try to get it to hold a vertical shape. At any rate, just keep molding it around like playdough until it’s all where it’s supposed to be. (Or like Moon Dough, since playdough contains gluten.)

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In theory you’re supposed to pre-bake this basic crust recipe for 7-10 minutes at 350 degrees, but a pumpkin pie has to cook so long already that I find it isn’t necessary here, and may even result in overcooking your crust. So pre-bake at your own risk. At any rate, it’s time to start making the filling. Start with three eggs in a large bowl.

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Add one 15-ounce can of pumpkin, being sure to chose one that’s plain and not a “pumpkin pie mix” or anything of that nature.

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Mix in 3/4 cup of sugar…

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1 teaspoon of ground ginger, and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon…

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3/4 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and just a pinch of ground cloves. Please be very careful if you’re going to attempt to use a pre-blended spice mix, because they will often have flour mixed in to prevent clumping.

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Now pour in 1 1/3 cups of coconut milk. I’m using this random can I got at the Asian market, but Thai Kitchen is a good national brand. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

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Pour the filling into the waiting pie crust. You’ll want to leave the standard half-inch ledge of crust around the top, which may mean you end up with a little extra in the bowl.

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When that happens, I just whip out a mini muffin tin and fill a handful of paper cups with the remaining pie filling. The pie is already going to be cooking, so you can just slide it right underneath in the oven. Think of these little crustless pumpkin pie tarts as your snacking reward for doing all this baking.

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Bake your pie at 375 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes, until the middle is just set. Let it cool for another 15-20 minutes, and you’re ready to triumphantly serve your GFCF masterpiece to the whole family. Along with, of course, your turkey with gravy, mashed potatoes, corn casserole, green bean casserole, and sweet potatoes. Oh, and don’t forget your deviled eggs and spiced walnut appetizers, either. Gosh, that all sounds so good, can I come over to your house?

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Happy Thanksgiving!

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GFCF Pumpkin Pie

1 1/2 cups almond flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup grapeseed oil
2 TBS agave nectar (or honey)

3 eggs
1 15-ounce can pumpkin
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt
pinch ground cloves
1 1/3 cups coconut milk

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This recipe earns its south-of-the-border credentials right off the bat with a can of diced green chiles. Dump them into a pan with a diced onion and a little oil, and let it all start to get nice and soft. The mild green chiles are definitely kid-friendly; it’s about the flavor, not the heat. Of course you can go with a spicier blend if you prefer, but either way make sure your can has nothing but green chiles in it. There’s really no excuse for any added ingredients with this one.

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Meanwhile, cut up one roma tomato into chunks, and throw it into the pan as well, seeds and all.

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While your onions, peppers, and tomatoes continue to sautee, crack open 8 eggs and scramble them. A drinking glass works just as well as a bowl for this, by the way, and it’s easier to fit into the dishwasher.

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When the onions are translucent, pour in your eggs…

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…and stir them frequently as they cook. They’re going to tend to stick to the bottom of the pan a little more than plain scrambled eggs, so you have to keep them moving.

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When the eggs are about half-set, break up a corn tostada, or handful of 100% corn tortilla chips, and mix it into the pan. The tostada bits will absorb just enough moisture to still be firm like a corn tortilla, but not sharp enough to stab you in the roof of your mouth.

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Traditional migas call for cheese, so sprinkle some Daiya on top of your finished eggs if you want. Serve with salsa and slices of avocado for a traditional Mexican flavor, or a pile of bacon for an American slant. Or transcend the borders and go with both!

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Happy Eating!

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Migas

1 medium onion
1 can diced green chiles
1 roma tomato
8 eggs
1 corn tostada (or six 100% corn tortilla chips)
Daiya cheese substitute (optional)

Well that sort of grandma mystique is a really silly barrier to modern cooking. If it was good enough for your Nana, it’s good enough for us! She’d be proud to see you feeding your children with the same kind of simple love that she gave to you.

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And that word “simple” is key: egg salad is beyond simple, the way all the best recipes are. First, boil 8 eggs for 15 minutes at a rolling boil. (That means you don’t start the timer until the bubbles are fast and furious, not when that first tiny bubble emissary first drifts up from the bottom of the pot.) I don’t have a picture of my pot here because the truth is I boiled my eggs days ago. They were on the cusp of going bad so I went ahead and cooked them to give them a new lease on life. Just make sure you write a big H on the shell so you know which ones you did.

Peel the cooked eggs and dice them up with an egg slicer. This ingenious little tool is something that no kitchen should ever be without. Just slide the wires through in one direction, then lift and rotate the egg a quarter turn so you can go the other direction. You can do mushrooms with it too!

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Add 3 Tablespoons of Hellman’s mayonnaise to your bowl of egg bits. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!] I don’t know why, but it always tickles my funny bone to remember that mayonnaise is mostly made with egg whites, so this is really eggs mixed with more eggs here. I know, I have a strange sense of humor.

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Also add 1 Tablespoon of French’s yellow mustard. Go all gourmet with a gluten-free brown mustard if you’d prefer, but I think Nana might disapprove.

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What’s going to happen as you mix everything together is the yolks of the eggs will disintegrate and become part of the sauce, while the whites stay nice and firm. Using a fork will help speed the process along.

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Toast up some gluten-free bread, slap on a few pieces of lettuce, and you’re done! I got lazy over the summer and started buying prebaked loaves of GF bread a lot, though I’m trying to get back into doing more baking at home to save money. But if you’re curious, this is Food For Life millet bread. It has earned the approval of even non-GF eaters, though it’s important to note that it must be toasted before it can clear the bar. Of course it’s all just a delivery vehicle for this classic, comforting, perfectly grandmotherly egg salad, so you might not even notice the bread anyway.

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Happy Eating!

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Egg Salad

8 eggs, hardboiled
3 TBS Hellman’s mayonnaise
1 TBS French’s yellow mustard

First we mix the dry ingredients. Stir together 1 cup of white rice flour, and 1 cup of corn meal, being sure to select a brand of corn meal that isn’t mixed with wheat flour.

Then mix in 1/4 cup sugar, 1 Tablespoon of Argo baking powder, and 1 teaspoon of salt. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

And of course the magic fairy dust of gluten-free baking, xanthan gum. If you haven’t made the leap yet to doing your own baking, don’t be scared of this stuff. It’s just 1/2 teaspoon of magic fairy dust, that’s all. No biggie.

Now for the wet ingredients. First, melt one stick plus another two Tablespoons of Fleischmann’s Unsalted Margarine (not Original) in a large bowl in the microwave.

Then we’re going to add two cans of corn. But one will be a normal can of corn, drained of its extra liquid…

And one will be an undrained can of cream style corn. Note the word “style:” this is a case where a cheap generic brand will be to your benefit, because it will not actually contain any dairy. Mine is pretty much just corn, water, and salt, partially blended to resemble… something creamy, I guess.

Break two eggs into the bowl. One-handed is not a requirement, it just makes you look cool. (You could also substitute 4 Tablespoons of potato starch mixed into 2 Tablespoons of water, if you wanted to make it egg-free.)

Then mix in one container of plain coconut milk yogurt. Or you could go with soy instead, if that’s what you’re into. But I’m definitely not into that, myself.

And finally, 1/4 cup of honey. See that funky measuring cup I’m holding? It’s part of this awesome set I got for Christmas, which are designed as a collection of nesting Russian dolls. Cool, huh?

Finally, mix the wet with the dry, and stir vigorously.

Scrape it all into a well-oiled 9×13 baking dish, and smooth everything into place. Unlike the majority of gluten-free batters, this one is wet enough that you can just use a spatula instead of pressing it into place with your hand. Lucky you!

Bake for 45-50 minutes at 350 degrees, and you’ll end up with something like this. Firm enough to be cut into squares like corn bread, but richer and sweeter: corn casserole!

Happy Eating!

The GFCF Lady’s Corn Casserole

1 cup white rice flour
1 cup corn meal
1/4 cup sugar
1 TBS GF baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp xanthan gum

1 1/4 sticks Fleischmann’s Unsalted margarine (NOT Original)
1 can corn, drained
1 can cream-style corn
2 eggs
1 container coconut milk yogurt
1/4 cup honey

You’d think boiling the eggs would be a no-brainer, but you’ve got to do it right or they won’t peel cleanly. Start with 18 eggs in a pot of cold water, and turn the heat to high. Once the water reaches a rolling boil (that is, giant bubbles splashing everywhere, not tiny little simmery things,) then start your timer for 15 minutes.

You’re destined to lose a few eggs during the boiling process, like this one that exploded spectacularly underwater right before my eyes. But we can still use the yolk in the filling mixture, and the white can be set aside for taste-testing purposes. I can always find at least a couple that are just not pretty enough to go on the plate, and I have no choice but to eat them right then and there.

Once you’ve drained the pot, set it in the sink and refill it with cold water, then plunge the eggs back in. This will cause the insides to shrink back from the shell, and they will come out nice and smooth when you peel them.

Then cut all those little suckers in half lengthwise…

And drop the yolks into a large mixing bowl. If they’re cooked right, you should be able to just give the egg a little squeeze and it will pop right out.

Mash them up with a fork until you’ve gotten all the large lumps out.

Okay, sure, there can be a few lumps left. We’ll continue to work on those as we add the wet ingredients. First, mix in 3 Tablespoons of French’s yellow mustard. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas at any time. Always check your labels!]

Then add 2 Tablespoons of pickle relish. Most major brands are gluten free, but sadly enough some aren’t, so double check yours. It’s up to you whether you go for sweet or dill relish — generally I would say dill, but this time I’m using a spicy-sweet specialty brand called Wickles. I could eat that stuff with a spoon, I tell you.

Then add 1 Tablespoon of Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce (make sure you use the original flavor, as their lighter “chicken” worcestershire sauce is not dairy-free.)

And 1/4 teaspoon of McCormick’s celery salt.

Finally, add in 2/3 cup of Hellman’s mayonnaise. As a relatively bland ingredient, the mayonnaise’s role is entirely for smoothing out the texture. So to that end, you don’t want to put in too much, or your filling will get runny, and then the only way to fix it will be to boil more eggs and harvest the extra yolks. I personally like to go cautiously and start with 1/2 cup of mayo, and add in more as necessary, but I freely admit that I take my deviled eggs very seriously.

Swipe about a Tablespoon of filling into each egg half with a spoon, smoothing the top a little so it’s at least moderately attractive. If you want to get really fancy, you can scrape the filling into an icing bag and squirt it in all decoratively. But an upside-down spoon’s good enough for me.

Finally, sprinkle the tops with paprika. Such a pretty spice.

And you’re ready to go! This is an especially nice hors d’oeuvre if you’re trying to cook a GFCF holiday meal for extended family members who aren’t used to eating on strange diets, because other than some judicious brand selection on your part, the ingredients are the same as you would find in a traditional recipe. Heck, with the right collection of recipes, your family might even get through the whole meal without realizing it was restricted to begin with.

Happy Eating!

The GFCF Lady’s Deviled Eggs

18 eggs
3 TBS French’s yellow mustard
2 TBS Wickles relish
1 TBS Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire
1/4 tsp McCormick celery salt
2/3 cup Hellman’s mayonnaise