This isn’t exactly a complicated recipe, but you know what? Before I was dragged kicking and screaming into Susie Homemaker land, I had never made french toast before, and I have to assume there are others of you out there who never have yet either. And you should! Because it really is a great way to make an otherwise questionable loaf of gluten-free bread into something enjoyable by all. And if you actually start with a good loaf of GF bread, so much the better!

First, blend together 3 eggs and 1/2 cup of almond milk in a dish with relatively tallish sides.

Next, mix in 1 teaspoon of cinnamon. Some people like to add sugar as well, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Many milk substitutes are already sweetened anyway, and I honestly have never seen the need to turn breakfast into dessert. Eating sugar all the time is part of what’s turned the average Western diet into the atrocity that it is.

Some people actually like to keep the cinnamon separate and demurely sprinkle it on each bread slice after it has been dipped in the egg mixture. Me, I’m not a fan of additional steps, but it’s not like this whole thing takes many steps to begin with, so do whatever you feel up to.

Just a couple of minutes per side in a greased pan on the stove, and you’re good to go! The problem, of course, is that they’ll be able to eat them just about as fast as you can make them, so make sure you cordon off a few slices as sacrosanct for the chef.

Eat them standing up if you have to, but make sure you get some. And here’s another tip: if you forego the syrup and spread jelly on it instead, you can make a decadent gluten-free sandwich that can make it until midday in a lunchbox without fear of drying out or crumbling.

Happy Eating!

French Toast

3 eggs
1/2 cup almond milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
8-10 slices gluten-free bread

So I’m busily living in sweat-laden denial, and that includes getting into the mood for all these great autumn foods that are coming down the pipeline. Heck, it’ll probably still be swelteringly hot on Thanksgiving Day anyway, so why not start enjoying them now? Anachronistic food is not a crime.

.

It should come as no surprise that this recipe contains apples, specifically the Granny Smith variety. I really like them with the peels on, but I understand if you have to take them off. Either way, cut three apples into wedges (minus the cores) and set them aside.

.

Peel two sweet potatoes, and cut them into rounds about 3/4 inch thick. Then cut each round into fourths, so you end up with a bunch of little pizza-slice shapes.

.

Does the shape honestly matter? No, but it makes arranging them easier if they’re all the same. And while we’re being honest, this alternating-line arrangement isn’t really necessary either. But it sure does look pretty, doesn’t it? Note that I did grease this pan with a little coconut oil before going all Martha Stewart on it.

.

Next, take 1 cup of apple juice (the cloudy kind that comes in a glass jar is best, it means it’s the least-processed) and gently pour it into the baking dish among the apple and sweet potato pieces.

.

Now, measure out 1/3 cup of brown sugar, and mix in 1 teaspoon of cinnamon…

.

And 1/8 teaspoon of nutmeg. I just eyeballed half of a quarter teaspoon for this one, rather than go hunting for my tiny measuring spoons. Close enough for government work.

.

Blend the three together, then sprinkle your sugar mixture evenly over the baking dish. You can’t sprinkle such tiny amounts of cinnamon and nutmeg over such a large dish, see, that’s why we mixed them into the sugar first.

.

Now, layer about 1/2 cup of pecan pieces over the top. Have I mentioned before how hard it is to photograph plastic bags? I swear I must have taken a dozen shots before I got one where the flash wasn’t reflecting awkwardly off the bag and making it unreadable. But because I love all of you, I persevered.

.

Bake uncovered in a 350 degree oven for 1 hour. Then crank up your A/C and pretend it’s jacket weather out there.

.

Happy Eating!

.

Sweet Potato and Apple Bake

3 Granny Smith apples
2 sweet potatoes
1 cup apple juice
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1/2 cup pecan pieces

.

An important part of this dish is the texture: it should be smooth, almost like a gravy. So to that end, we’re going to do something a little special and actually blend this chopped onion into a fine pulp. Onions contain a fair amount of water, so you ought to be able to do this in a regular blender if you want.

.

Next, pour the onion puree into a large, deep pan and start sauteeing it gently. You can add a little oil if you want, but you may find it’s not necessary since we’ve gone and released all the liquid from the onion already. Incidentally, this trick will work for a wide variety of dishes if your kids don’t like onions.

.

Add in one Tablespoon of minced ginger…

.

1/4 teaspoon of cumin…

.

and 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon.

.

While your onion paste is cooking, chop up 2 medium tomatoes, then dump the whole cutting board’s worth into the pan, seeds and all.

.

Turn the heat up a bit and stir frequently for 10-15 minutes. The goal is for the tomatoes to disintegrate completely. Also toss in 1 teaspoon of McCormick garam masala when you get a second. Don’t be thrown off by the foreign name; it’s a common spice blend and you’ll easily find it in your grocery store. But like all blends, cheapo-brands may try to cut it with plain flour, so be careful. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

.

Stirring, stirring, stirring. This is a good cooking task to let a kid help out with, because it’s so shallow they’ll have a really hard time sloshing any over the side of the pan.

.

Okay, we got the “Indian” part, now for the “Kidney Bean” part. You can use two cans of drained and rinsed beans, or go all out and cook your own (starting with 2 cups of dry beans.) If you use canned, double-check that they contain nothing but beans, water, and salt. Most brands are going to be plain like this, but every once in awhile you’ll find one that includes “natural flavors,” or unidentified seasonings… all sorts of potentially-glutenous crap. Why? Beats me. Just sell us beans, for Pete’s sake.

.

Finally, add in roughly 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Canned beans will already have a certain amount of salt added, so go with your tastebuds on this one. It’s a very rough estimate.

You can serve this as a main dish with rice as is traditional, or make it a fantastic side. It’s especially good as a pot luck dish, if you ever find yourself attending that sort of thing.

.

Happy Eating!

.

Indian Kidney Beans (Rajma)

1 onion
1 Tbs minced ginger
1/4 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp McCormick garam masala
2 tomatoes
2 cans (about 4 cups) cooked kidney beans
1/2 tsp salt

.

Plus, there’s so much less room for error this way. I mean come on, the crust is only five ingredients! With other recipes you might have to blend five flours before you even start with the other ingredients. But here, all we need is 1 1/2 cups of Honeyville almond flour. This crust recipe comes from The Gluten Free Almond Flour Cookbook, by the way, which is about as accurate a book title as you’re ever going to find.

.

Add 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda, and blend it together evenly with a fork.

.

Then pour in 1/4 cup grapeseed oil (or whatever cooking/baking oil you prefer,) and 2 Tablespoons of agave nectar, and mix thoroughly. You could also substitute honey for the agave nectar if you like. There is a taste difference, but it’s hard to notice over the abundant pumpkin flavor.

.

Mix everything thoroughly, and there’s your pie crust, in crumbly form! Now you just have to press it in place, kind of like you would with a homemade graham cracker crust, if graham crackers weren’t poison in this new universe you’re living in.

.

For the sides of the pie pan, I find it helpful to squeeze a small handful tightly in my palm in order to get a little cohesion going before I try to get it to hold a vertical shape. At any rate, just keep molding it around like playdough until it’s all where it’s supposed to be. (Or like Moon Dough, since playdough contains gluten.)

.

In theory you’re supposed to pre-bake this basic crust recipe for 7-10 minutes at 350 degrees, but a pumpkin pie has to cook so long already that I find it isn’t necessary here, and may even result in overcooking your crust. So pre-bake at your own risk. At any rate, it’s time to start making the filling. Start with three eggs in a large bowl.

.

Add one 15-ounce can of pumpkin, being sure to chose one that’s plain and not a “pumpkin pie mix” or anything of that nature.

.

Mix in 3/4 cup of sugar…

.

1 teaspoon of ground ginger, and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon…

.

3/4 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and just a pinch of ground cloves. Please be very careful if you’re going to attempt to use a pre-blended spice mix, because they will often have flour mixed in to prevent clumping.

.

Now pour in 1 1/3 cups of coconut milk. I’m using this random can I got at the Asian market, but Thai Kitchen is a good national brand. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

.

Pour the filling into the waiting pie crust. You’ll want to leave the standard half-inch ledge of crust around the top, which may mean you end up with a little extra in the bowl.

.

When that happens, I just whip out a mini muffin tin and fill a handful of paper cups with the remaining pie filling. The pie is already going to be cooking, so you can just slide it right underneath in the oven. Think of these little crustless pumpkin pie tarts as your snacking reward for doing all this baking.

.

Bake your pie at 375 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes, until the middle is just set. Let it cool for another 15-20 minutes, and you’re ready to triumphantly serve your GFCF masterpiece to the whole family. Along with, of course, your turkey with gravy, mashed potatoes, corn casserole, green bean casserole, and sweet potatoes. Oh, and don’t forget your deviled eggs and spiced walnut appetizers, either. Gosh, that all sounds so good, can I come over to your house?

.

Happy Thanksgiving!

.

GFCF Pumpkin Pie

1 1/2 cups almond flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup grapeseed oil
2 TBS agave nectar (or honey)

3 eggs
1 15-ounce can pumpkin
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt
pinch ground cloves
1 1/3 cups coconut milk

Imagine how shocked I was to discover that I actually like these gluten-free muffins! I mean, I really like them–I sneak them between meals when the kids aren’t looking, which is the highest compliment I can pay a food.

This may have something to do with it: the recipe starts with 1 cup of sugar. (Actually I know for a fact the sugar plays a big role in my appreciation, because the first time I attempted this recipe I was dumb and forgot the sugar, and they came out inedible. Fortunately I realized my mistake before I threw out the recipe altogether.)

Then mix in 1 cup of applesauce. Applesauce is one of those things that any sane person would want to assume is gluten-free, but as you’ve probably figured out by now, food manufacturers are anything but sane. Check your labels and make sure it’s got nothing but apples in it.

Next, mix up this neato slurry of 4 Tablespoons of potato starch in 2 Tablespoons of water. The result will be this kind of gooey consistency that is a liquid if you are gentle but resists if you try to move it too fast. You may have even played with something like this in school when you were a kid like I did. Anyway, this is actually a basic egg substitute, so if you’d rather toss in two beaten eggs instead, you could do that too. But the potato starch mixture is good for those with egg allergies or concerned about cholesterol.

Then add 1/3 cup canola oil…

And 1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon and ground cloves.

Also, 1/2 teaspoon each of gluten-free baking powder, and baking soda.

Now, mix in 1 1/4 cups of gluten-free flour. Bob’s Red Mill All-Purpose Blend is usually my go-to choice, but in this case that’s actually amaranth flour up there. I’ve made it with several different types, and they all come out good, so use whatever you want.

Drop the batter by spoonfuls into muffin cups. I like making mini-muffins, because they make better serving sizes. You can have 2 or 3 at breakfast, or toss just one in a lunchbox… or snack on however many you want between meals, for example. They aren’t going to rise much, so fill them about 3/4 full. I usually end up with about a tray and a half’s worth of these mini-muffin size.

I also smooth out the tops with a wet finger. It just makes them look better, and appearance is important when you’re trying to get a kid to try something new. It might look tedious, but it goes really quickly if you just put a cup of water right next to the tray. Dip, dab-dab-dab, dip, dab-dab-dab… takes 30 seconds. Of course ugly muffins still taste good, too.

Bake at 400 degrees for 22 minutes. If you’re making larger muffins, you’ll need to extend the baking time a bit. They’ll be done when a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean, just like everything else. Let them cool as long as possible before digging in, because they’re so moist the middles stay hot for a surprisingly long time. They’ll store for several days in a tupperware, or you can go so far as to freeze them for future use.

Also, unless you’re trying to take a picture of them, don’t bother with the kind of restraint I’m showing here. Pop them in your mouth all in one bite. It’s the best way, I promise you.

Happy Eating!

Applesauce Muffins

1 cup sugar
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
4 TBS potato starch in 2 TBS water
       (OR 2 eggs)
1/3 cup canola oil
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp GF baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/4 cups GF flour

Oh, decadence. How long I spent without thee.

Don’t get me wrong, you can make some GFCF cakes and cookies that are passable, even darn passable. But that gooey moistness they always promise me never seemed to materialize, until I finally figured out that I should just quit trying to make these ridiculous gluten-free flours and milk-free milks do things they’re not capable of doing. There are plenty of foods on this planet that fall into the category of gooey, and it turns out that more than a few of them are good for baking.

Like pumpkin, for example!

We’ll still need flour, of course, we’re just taking the goo burden off its shoulders. I make these with amaranth flour, but that’s only because we’re attempting to rotate our flours around here for food sensitivity’s sake. (Before I started adapting it left and right, the original recipe came from The Kid-Friendly ADHD & Autism Cookbook.) Bob’s All-Purpose Flour will work just fine too, or pretty much any other gluten-free flour you have on hand, because the taste won’t be coming through in the end. Truth be told, the amaranth flour goes in this recipe specifically because it’s apparently “yucky” in everything else I bake with it, but they never notice it here.

Right, so! Two cups of GF flour, and 1/2 teaspoon of xanthan gum.

Then 3/4 cup of sugar. Like most of the things I make, that’s just the starting amount. Once the kids acknowledged that they liked them, I started scaling back the sugar with each batch.

2 teaspoons of gluten-free baking powder…

1 teaspoon of cinnamon…

1/2 teaspoon of baking soda…

And 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Then 8 Tablespoons of potato starch, and it’s finally time to blend all the dry ingredients thoroughly.

Now for the wet ingredients! Add 1/2 cup of canola oil to one 15-ounce can of pumpkin puree. Make sure you use one that’s just plain pumpkin and not some pre-flavored “pumpkin pie mix,” because you can never be sure what weird gluten-y stuff gets put into that sort of thing.

Then add 1/4 cup of almond milk.

Mix it all together thoroughly, then dump it in the bowl of flour and mix it all together thoroughly some more. If you’re not going to use an electric mixer, be prepared to do a fair amount of work getting it all evenly blended. On the upside, you will end up with massively ripped biceps like me.

And just in case the sugar content wasn’t enough to convince the kids, you can throw in 1/2 cup of GFCF chocolate chips to tempt them. (Enjoy Life and Tropical Source are two good brands.) You could also use GFCF mini-marshmallows, or even your favorite gluten-free crispy-rice cereal for added crunch.

Also, add in 1 Tablespoon of water. Why didn’t I add this earlier with the other wet ingredients? I forgot. Don’t tell anyone.

Spray a 9×13 baking dish liberally with canola oil, and scrape in the batter.

Then use a very wet hand to moosh the batter into place. You will probably need to shove your hand back under the faucet periodically to keep the batter from sticking to your fingers.

I can be pretty neurotic about getting the surface totally smooth. I certainly can’t imagine where my son got his OCD genes from…

Bake in a 350-degree oven for 35-40 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Set the pan on a wire rack and let it cool completely before slicing. I like to cut them into long bars, because it helps me pretend they’re more of a snack than a straight-up dessert. Ooh, you know what else these are great for? Halloween treats! Don’t kid yourself, it will be October before you know it.

Happy Eating!

Pumpkin Bars

2 cups amaranth (or other gluten-free) flour
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp GF baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
8 TBS potato starch

1 15-oz. can pumpkin puree
1/2 cup canola oil
1/4 cup almond milk
1 TBS water
1/2 cup GFCF chocolate chips

An apple a day keeps the doctor away! Seriously. Apples are healthy in a lot of ways, but they are particularly good for digestive health, which is what this diet’s all about. So here I have my four organic gala apples, looking all posed and pretty.

And now I peel their skin off! Good thing apples don’t have feelings. Also, that’s not some weird angle of the camera, my pinky fingers really are that crooked. What can I say, I’m an odd duck.

Here’s the fastest way I’ve ever found to core an apple. It sure beats cutting the whole thing into slices and then trying to curve the knife around the core in each slice. And don’t even get me started on those useless kitchen gadgets where you can supposedly press the large round thing down over the entire apple and core and slice it all at once. They totally don’t work unless you have the strength of Hercules, in which case you can just intimidate someone else into coring your apples for you.

Slice the two big pieces…

…nip off a few bits of skin, and you’re done!

Toss them all into a large saucepan with a lid, and sprinkle on 2 Tablespoons of brown sugar. Truth be told, you can easily cut the amount of sugar by half or even more, because real apples are pretty sweet all on their own. 2 Tablespoons will get you to that dessert-level sweetness.

Then sprinkle on 2 teaspoons of cinnamon.

Turn the stove to medium-low, and put the lid on. Just like that? Just like that.

See, as they cook, the apples will start to release liquid, which will turn the sugar and cinnamon into that gooey sauce we all associate with cinnamon apples. Let them cook for about 20-30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

And that, my friends, is pure joy on a spoon. There’s really nothing more to say about it.

Happy Eating!

Cinnamon Apples

4 gala apples (organic, if at all possible)
2 TBS brown sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

Start with two butternut squashes, about 3 pounds total. If your children see you cooking them, tell them that they’re just “funny-shaped pumpkins.” Kids are dumb, especially if they think they’ll get pie out of the deal. The top stem is the hardest to cut through, so I always start along the side, then rotate it up on its end to get the most leverage.

Scoop out all the seeds and gunk.

Lay two halves on a plate, and cover them in saran wrap. Make sure to get around the bottom too, or else the skin will leave this waxy residue on the plate that is nearly impossible to get off. Cook it in the microwave on high for about 8-9 minutes. You can’t do all four at once, unless you have a gargantuan microwave, and even then, the cooking time would be off. So just get the second one ready and waiting.

Meanwhile, add 1/3 cup sugar to a large mixing bowl, and 1/4 cup almond milk.

Crack in two eggs, and try to ignore the creepy face that’s staring back at you now.

This is my newest discovery at my grocery store: powdered vanilla extract. The key here is that extracts are usually suspended in alcohol, and often these are grain alcohols; i.e. gluten. I don’t know how they magically make it into a powder, but the taste is exactly the same, and you use the same amount of it as you would regular liquid vanilla. I’d already hunted down a liquid extract that was gluten-free, but you know what? This one says it right on the label, and I like to support companies that do that. So I’ve switched. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your ingredient lists.]

So on top of the egg mixture, that’s 1 tsp vanilla, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, and 1/4 tsp salt. I don’t know what was up with my camera focus in this shot, but it’s apparently the only one I got of this step, so you’ll have to live with the disappointment.

When your microwave beeps at you, take a look at the squashes. See the brighter yellow circle in the middle there? That’s not cooked all the way through. This one needs another minute or two, at least.

Once they’re an even, dark orange color, scoop out the insides and add them to your mixing bowl. This should take no real arm strength if they’re cooked properly, but they will be extremely hot, so you’ll probably want to use an oven mitt.

Mix everything together thoroughly, making sure it’s nice and smooth. Then scrape it into a 9×9 baking dish sprayed with canola oil.

Now, prepare the crumb topping. That’s 1 Tablespoon of melted Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine (not salted original), 1/2 cup (firmly packed) brown sugar, and 2 Tablespoons of Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free All-Purpose Flour blend.

Mix well…

And sprinkle evenly on top.

Pop in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes, just enough to warm everything through and melt the sugar on top a little. And then tell your children that since they were so good today, they can have dessert on their plate right with their meal. Ha ha ha…

Happy Eating!

Butternut Crunch

2 butternut squash (about 2-3 lbs.)
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup almond milk
2 eggs
1 tsp Adam’s Best vanilla
1 tsp McCormick cinnamon
1/4 tsp McCormick nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt
1 TBS Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine (not salted original)
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 TBS Bob’s Red Mill All-Purpose flour blend