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First, take a 2-3 pound pork roast, and place it in your dutch oven (or a crock pot, if you must.) This particular cut of meat is called a Boston Butt, so excuse me while I snicker like an 8-year-old. You should always place slow-cooked meat fat side up, by the way. I like to put a sliced-up onion in there as well. It’s not really to eat, it just kind of adds flavor to the vapors as the meat cooks. I’m convinced it makes a difference, anyway, but you could skip it I guess.

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I used to have this whole dry spice rub procedure, but it always ended up making a kind of crust on the meat — which is great, if you’re slicing it, but we’re shredding this meat, and a stiff outer layer just gets in the way. Better to cook the meat plain, and put the spices in the sauce. So just give it a liberal splashing of Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce for now. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

Now put the lid on and stick it in a 350 degree oven for 3-4 hours. (Or set your crock pot to HIGH for 3-4 hours if you’re doing it that way. But make sure that crock pot lid is on tight, or all your moisture will escape and your meat will be tough and chewy.)

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A few minutes before your meat’s ready to come out, prepare the sauce. Now, this is a traditional Kentucky barbecue sauce, which means it’s vinegar-based. If you’d rather just slather yours with a Southern style (i.e., thicker and sweeter) barbecue sauce, that’s your call. I’m a fence-sitter in the great barbecue sauce debate: I prefer Southern style for brisket, and Kentucky style for pulled pork.

Start with 1 cup of apple cider vinegar. Please ignore the really ugly label; this is the good stuff, I assure you. It tastes better than the processed kind, and it’s better for you too. But if you do get another brand, be sure that it’s not “apple cider flavored” vinegar, because that might contain gluten.

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Add in 1/2 cup of Heinz ketchup…

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1 Tablespoon of white sugar…

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And 2 Tablespoons of brown sugar.

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Then add 1/2 Tablespoon each of salt and white pepper. You could substitute black pepper, but the white pepper is more subtle.

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Will you look at that beauty? It’s still in the dutch oven in this shot because I couldn’t even get it onto a serving plate in one piece, that’s how tender it is. Falling apart!

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This is what’s become of my onion, by the way. On the one hand, no, you wouldn’t want to eat this slag formerly known as a vegetable. But on the other hand, that little pile used to be an entire giant onion. Where did the rest of it go? Flavoring the pork, that’s where!

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Scrape at the chunks of meat with two forks until it’s all nice and shredded.

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Then pour in your sauce. Depending on how large your roast is, you may not need all of it. I start with about 2/3 of the mixture and then add more as necessary. You want everything coated, but without a large puddle at the bottom of the bowl.

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It’s time to warm up our gluten-free buns! Our store started carrying this Kinnikinnick brand, and it immediately became our new favorite. I have served these to people who didn’t know they were gluten-free, and they honestly had no idea. Like most other prepared gluten-free breads, you just store them in the freezer and then microwave however many you need when it’s time to eat.

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I think this picture speaks for itself. If you’ll excuse me, I have some chowing down to do.

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Happy Eating!

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The GFCF Lady’s Pulled Pork Sandwiches

2-3 lb. pork roast
1 onion
2-3 TBS Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce

1 cup Bragg apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup Heinz ketchup
1 TBS white sugar
2 TBS brown sugar
1/2 TBS salt
1/2 TBS white pepper
Kinnikinnick hamburger buns

An apple a day keeps the doctor away! Seriously. Apples are healthy in a lot of ways, but they are particularly good for digestive health, which is what this diet’s all about. So here I have my four organic gala apples, looking all posed and pretty.

And now I peel their skin off! Good thing apples don’t have feelings. Also, that’s not some weird angle of the camera, my pinky fingers really are that crooked. What can I say, I’m an odd duck.

Here’s the fastest way I’ve ever found to core an apple. It sure beats cutting the whole thing into slices and then trying to curve the knife around the core in each slice. And don’t even get me started on those useless kitchen gadgets where you can supposedly press the large round thing down over the entire apple and core and slice it all at once. They totally don’t work unless you have the strength of Hercules, in which case you can just intimidate someone else into coring your apples for you.

Slice the two big pieces…

…nip off a few bits of skin, and you’re done!

Toss them all into a large saucepan with a lid, and sprinkle on 2 Tablespoons of brown sugar. Truth be told, you can easily cut the amount of sugar by half or even more, because real apples are pretty sweet all on their own. 2 Tablespoons will get you to that dessert-level sweetness.

Then sprinkle on 2 teaspoons of cinnamon.

Turn the stove to medium-low, and put the lid on. Just like that? Just like that.

See, as they cook, the apples will start to release liquid, which will turn the sugar and cinnamon into that gooey sauce we all associate with cinnamon apples. Let them cook for about 20-30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

And that, my friends, is pure joy on a spoon. There’s really nothing more to say about it.

Happy Eating!

Cinnamon Apples

4 gala apples (organic, if at all possible)
2 TBS brown sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

What was I saying? Oh yes: meat. A basic, well-seasoned piece of meat is such a rarity these days, people will think you’re some sort of brilliant gourmet for serving it, and marvel at your minimalist elegance. This here is about 2 pounds of beef brisket, with a dry rub of spices pressed into it. What spices you ask? Well, it’s brown sugar, paprika, chili powder, salt, and pepper. 2 Tablespoons each. What I like to do is mix all the spices on the surface of a large plate, and then just lay the meat down on the plate on all sides. I really should have gotten a picture of this, I know, but my hands were all covered in meat juice, and then one of the kids needed something, and somehow I got distracted and forgot.

Anyway, if you’ve got the time to let your meat sit with the spice rub for a few hours, great; if not, don’t sweat it. When you’re ready, place the brisket in a dutch oven or crock pot (but really, a dutch oven is better. I won’t quibble about the color, they have red and brown, too, if for some strange reason you don’t agree with me that my blue one is the most beautiful thing ever. The important thing is that enamel surface on the inside.) Make sure you lay the meat fat side up.

Pour in about 1 1/2 cups of Pacific Foods beef broth. [As always, my brands were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without notice. Always check your labels.] If necessary, add some water to the pot until the liquid is at least an inch deep, and make sure to lift the edges of the meat a bit so it can flow underneath. Then just put the lid on and stick it in a 325 degree oven for 3-4 hours (or set your crock pot to high for that amount of time, if you insist on doing it that way.)

Man, I wish I could tell you how good my house smells right now. When it’s time for dinner, just drench the top of your meat in Sweet Baby Ray’s barbecue sauce. There are other GFCF barbecue sauces available too, but as a Texan, I have to tell you: this stuff is the real deal. If it’s available in your area, this is the product you want.

See? That is some fine barbecue brisket right there. Serve this with smashed potato salad, and you’ll have a positively mouth-watering meal that no one will even suspect is GFCF.

Happy Eating!

Brisket

2 TBS brown sugar
2 TBS McCormick’s paprika
2 TBS McCormick’s chili powder
2 TBS salt
2 TBS pepper
1-2 lbs. beef brisket
1 1/2 cups Pacific Foods beef broth
1 cup Sweet Baby Ray’s barbecue sauce

Start with two butternut squashes, about 3 pounds total. If your children see you cooking them, tell them that they’re just “funny-shaped pumpkins.” Kids are dumb, especially if they think they’ll get pie out of the deal. The top stem is the hardest to cut through, so I always start along the side, then rotate it up on its end to get the most leverage.

Scoop out all the seeds and gunk.

Lay two halves on a plate, and cover them in saran wrap. Make sure to get around the bottom too, or else the skin will leave this waxy residue on the plate that is nearly impossible to get off. Cook it in the microwave on high for about 8-9 minutes. You can’t do all four at once, unless you have a gargantuan microwave, and even then, the cooking time would be off. So just get the second one ready and waiting.

Meanwhile, add 1/3 cup sugar to a large mixing bowl, and 1/4 cup almond milk.

Crack in two eggs, and try to ignore the creepy face that’s staring back at you now.

This is my newest discovery at my grocery store: powdered vanilla extract. The key here is that extracts are usually suspended in alcohol, and often these are grain alcohols; i.e. gluten. I don’t know how they magically make it into a powder, but the taste is exactly the same, and you use the same amount of it as you would regular liquid vanilla. I’d already hunted down a liquid extract that was gluten-free, but you know what? This one says it right on the label, and I like to support companies that do that. So I’ve switched. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your ingredient lists.]

So on top of the egg mixture, that’s 1 tsp vanilla, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, and 1/4 tsp salt. I don’t know what was up with my camera focus in this shot, but it’s apparently the only one I got of this step, so you’ll have to live with the disappointment.

When your microwave beeps at you, take a look at the squashes. See the brighter yellow circle in the middle there? That’s not cooked all the way through. This one needs another minute or two, at least.

Once they’re an even, dark orange color, scoop out the insides and add them to your mixing bowl. This should take no real arm strength if they’re cooked properly, but they will be extremely hot, so you’ll probably want to use an oven mitt.

Mix everything together thoroughly, making sure it’s nice and smooth. Then scrape it into a 9×9 baking dish sprayed with canola oil.

Now, prepare the crumb topping. That’s 1 Tablespoon of melted Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine (not salted original), 1/2 cup (firmly packed) brown sugar, and 2 Tablespoons of Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free All-Purpose Flour blend.

Mix well…

And sprinkle evenly on top.

Pop in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes, just enough to warm everything through and melt the sugar on top a little. And then tell your children that since they were so good today, they can have dessert on their plate right with their meal. Ha ha ha…

Happy Eating!

Butternut Crunch

2 butternut squash (about 2-3 lbs.)
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup almond milk
2 eggs
1 tsp Adam’s Best vanilla
1 tsp McCormick cinnamon
1/4 tsp McCormick nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt
1 TBS Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine (not salted original)
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 TBS Bob’s Red Mill All-Purpose flour blend

This is definitely a kid-friendly meal, but only if you don’t let them watch you make it. It looks all fancy and gourmet, and some of the ingredients have a mental gag-factor all their own, but trust me, the final product is to die for.

The basic premise of this recipe is you steam some fish filets, and then you turn the liquid from the pan into a sauce for the fish. As you can guess, we will be steaming them with something a little tastier than water. Here’s what we start with: sugar, white cooking wine, minced ginger, minced garlic, and… clam juice. Seriously, don’t panic. It’s just like fish stock, but it tastes better. They carry it in most grocery stores, over with the canned tuna. You can use plain ol’ fish stock if you really can’t handle the concept of cooking with clam juice, but then you’ll never know what a truly great meal you could have had. Come on, live a little.

Start by putting 3/4 cup of the wine and 3/4 cup of the clam juice in the bottom of a steamer pan. Then add in 1 Tablespoon of sugar.

Mix well so the sugar dissolves, then add 1 Tablespoon of minced ginger, and 1 clove of minced garlic. As you can see, my ginger is just like my garlic: pre-minced and in a jar. I already spend enough time prepping and cooking with ingredients from scratch, so I’ll take my shortcuts where I can get them. Plus, I always manage to grate my fingertips along with the ginger when I try to grate it myself, and while my blood is 100% gluten-free at this point, it’s just not that appetizing.

Get a good boil going, and let it simmer for ten minutes.

Meanwhile, chop up one green onion. (Do you still count it as one if the bulb has two stalks on it? I always do, but that may also be because I like green onions a lot.)

When your sauce has simmered for ten minutes, place the top rack in the steamer pan, and spritz it lightly with canola oil.

Lay in your fish filets, and drizzle them with 1 teaspoon of sesame oil. Just let the extra oil drip down into the pan, it’s cool.

And do the same thing with 2 teaspoons of La Choy soy sauce. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change their formulas without notice. Always check your ingredient lists!]

Then sprinkle on your green onions, cover it with the lid, and steam until the fish is done (when it flakes apart easily with a fork.) I’m using pretty small Tilapia filets, so it only takes about 5 minutes. Now, the one major drawback of this recipe is you can only do two fish filets at once unless you have an unusually large steamer. This was a late night for us, so the kids had already eaten. But if you’re cooking for more than two, you can do everything the same except drizzle half of the sesame oil and soy sauce onto the first pair, and save half for the second round of filets. Most of it ends up in the bottom anyway, which is where we want it for the sauce.

Now, while the fish is steaming, prepare a cornstarch mixture. Check your brands, most but not all of them are gluten-free. Start with 2 teaspoons of cornstarch in the tiniest little container you can find.

Add just enough water to dissolve all the cornstarch into a slurry. We’re talking bare minimum here, a tiny drizzle. (Man, how many times can I use the word “drizzle” in one post?)

Move the fish out onto plates, and toss the steamer tray in the sink.

You’ll see the sauce underneath has changed greatly since we last saw it. Please forgive the abundance of steam in this shot. I was, ah, going for extra realism? Anyway, here comes the part that makes this meal kid-friendly: add 4 Tablespoons of brown sugar to the simmering sauce. I did tell you this recipe was called Sweet Wine Fish, didn’t I?

Pour in your cornstarch mixture, and mix well.

Continue to simmer the sauce for several minutes until it has thickened to your liking. TheGFCFMan likes a pretty thick sauce, but I’m usually starving by this time and very impatient to eat, so we meet somewhere in the middle.

Then all you have to do is… wait for it… drizzle the sauce onto your filets and enjoy. You will probably end up with extra sauce unless you choose to go beyond drizzling into soaking your fish, and I like to save that in a small tupperware for leftovers. It makes a great salad dressing, or a dipping sauce for chicken nuggets, or any number of things.

Happy Eating!

Sweet Wine Fish

3/4 cup white cooking wine
3/4 cup clam juice
1 Tbs. sugar
1 Tbs. minced ginger
1 clove minced garlic
2-4 Tilapia filets
1 green onion
1 tsp. sesame oil
2 tsp. La Choy soy sauce
4 Tbs. brown sugar
2 tsp. Clabber Girl cornstarch in water

This is my favorite chili recipe of all time. You can use ground beef if you really want, but give the turkey a try at least once. It tastes better, it’s healthier for you, and it’s cheaper. How much more could you ask from a humble meat?

First, dump 2 pounds of ground turkey into a big soup pot with a couple tablespoons of olive oil. Check out those beautiful blue handles–that’s my Lodge dutch oven, and I’ve been in love with it since the day I got it. The inner surface is this sealed enamel stuff, and it cleans easier than any Teflon-coated pan I have. Plus, you can throw the whole thing in the oven, lid and all. Which means you’ll be seeing it again whenever I get around to posting my pot roast recipe.

While the turkey starts browning just a bit, dice an onion. I’ve seen some official definitions of “dice” that are pretty ridiculously tiny for the amateur chef to achieve, so perhaps you may choose to say I am merely “chopping” an onion. Whatever, just get it into the smallest pieces you can manage without cutting off a finger.

Add your onions to the pot, along with 3 cloves of minced garlic (or 1 1/2 tsp of the jarred kind) and 1 Tablespoon of chili powder. You can add more if you like it spicy, but don’t make that decision yet until you check out the next step.

This, my friends, is chipotles in adobo. It sounds fancy, but really it’s not–a chipotle pepper is actually just a jalapeno pepper that’s been roasted. The “adobo” part is where the real flavor comes from, and that’s what that red sauce is. Recipes vary, but it’s generally a mixture of tomato paste, apple cider vinegar, garlic, oregano, cumin, and black pepper. Think of it as a spicy Mexican barbecue sauce. Anyway, you buy this stuff in a little can in the ethnic foods aisle, but check your brands for gluten. I can’t even remember the name of the brand I get, because it contains whole peppers, which are kind of a pain to work with, so what I do is throw the entire contents of the can in a blender, and store it in a tupperware in the fridge–so that can is long gone. 1 Tablespoon of the blended sauce is equal to about one chili pepper. In this big recipe, 1/2 a Tablespoon will still leave it mild enough for the kids, or if you’re really worried you can just use the sauce without the peppers blended in. Don’t omit it entirely though, because that wonderful smokey flavor is really essential to the final product.

Okay, enough with the chipotle pepper lesson. Mix it all up and let the meat brown, stirring occasionally.

When the meat is cooked, drain a can of Bush’s red kidney beans and dump it in the pot. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without notice. Always check your labels.]

Add a can of crushed tomatoes. My generic brand is probably not available in your area, but really, all a can of tomatoes ought to have in it is tomatoes, water, and maybe a little salt. Don’t even waste time with brands that put extra crap in their cans, whether it’s ultimately gluten-free or not. It’s a can of vegetables, for pete’s sake, it doesn’t need anything else.

Also add in two cups of GF chicken broth. This is another ingredient you have to hunt down a suitable brand for, and in my experience you usually have to spring for the organic brands before you get one that’s safe. As a side note, another thing you have to watch out for is that packaged chicken breasts will often be injected with broth (the package will say something like “Up to 10% solution.”) Take the time to verify with the manufacturers that the broth they’re injecting is gluten-free, or pay more for organic, it’s your call.

Now, give the chili a good stir and let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes. In the meantime, it’s time to make the corn cakes! The number of ingredients can seem daunting, but if you lay it all out in front of you it’s not so bad.

This is 3/4 cup rice flour, 1 cup of cornmeal, and 2 TBS brown sugar.

Then 1 tsp of salt, and 1/2 tsp of xanthan gum. I resisted buying xanthan gum for a long time when I started gluten-free cooking, because the name was just too weird, and I didn’t even know what it looked like, and I just didn’t want to deal with something so foreign, you know? But eventually I figured out it’s just another white powder in a Bob’s Red Mill bag, and hey, I already have like 3 or 4 of those in my kitchen already, so what the heck. And it really does make a difference in these recipes. It adds that fluffiness and stretchiness back in, the things that used to be taken care of by gluten in your old life.

Then 3 tsp of gluten-free baking powder, and you’re done with the dry ingredients.

Then the wet ingredients: 2 eggs, 4 TBS Fleischmann’s margarine, and 1 cup of almond milk. Don’t put that milk away just yet; we’re going to need it again in a second.

Melt the magarine in the microwave, and whisk in the eggs.

Then add the almond milk…

And work that bicep. My great-grandmother must have been super buff, whisking stuff like this every single day.

Now you want to add just a teensy bit more almond milk, to get the batter to the right consistency. It’s usually about 2-3 Tablespoons.

It will still be thick, like all gluten-free mixes, but you want it so the batter stretches, rather than tearing into chunks.

Ladle it into your preheated pan (oiled with Canola cooking spray or dabs of margarine,) and give it several minutes before flipping. You won’t see any bubbles surfacing like there would be with a normal pancake batter, you just have to test the underside every once in awhile and see if it’s easy to slip the spatula under yet or not.

Because the batter is so thick, sometimes an air bubble will get trapped underneath and you’ll end up with strange designs on your corn cakes. This one looks like a key to me, or maybe a guitar, I can’t decide. I’m still waiting for the day I hit the jackpot and get one that kind of looks like the Virgin Mary, and then I can sell it on eBay for a ton of money and hire someone to make all my corn cakes for me.

Right about the time you’ve cooked all your corn cakes, the chili should be ready to serve. You could, of course, serve the cakes alongside the chili, or even forego the whole cake shape in the first place and make them muffins or something instead.

But what I like to do is serve it underneath the chili. You get a bit of corn cake in every bite, and it’s a fun surprise, like fruit at the bottom of your yogurt. Except we can’t have yogurt anymore–all the more reason to adapt the food-hiding-within-food presentation to new and exciting dishes, am I right? Plus, it’s a corn cake, which makes this final product remarkably close to Frito Pie. Truth be told, when I’m running short on time I actually serve it over Fritos to begin with.

Happy Eating!

Turkey Chili with Corn Cakes

2 lbs. ground turkey
1 med. onion
3 cloves garlic
1 TBS chili powder
1 TBS chipotles in adobo
1 can Bush’s kidney beans
1 can crushed tomatoes
2 cups GF chicken broth

1 cup corn meal
3/4 cup rice flour
2 TBS brown sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
3 tsp GF baking powder
2 eggs
4 TBS margarine
1 cup plus about 2-3 TBS almond milk

When cooking for kids, often the texture of a dish is just as important–if not more important–than the taste. And one thing kids are not usually fond of is chunks, especially “chunks coated in slime,” which is how I once heard a particularly eloquent young lady describe potato salad. Mashed potatoes, on the other hand, are always a big hit, at least with all the kids I’ve ever met. Thus, I present to you the best of both worlds: Smashed Potato Salad!

We start with 3 lbs. of medium gold potatoes, cut into quarters.

Boil them until fork-tender, about 10-15 minutes.

Meanwhile, hardboil 3 eggs. (That’s 15 minutes at a full rolling boil, in case no one’s ever specified. I used to have so much trouble peeling my hardboiled eggs until I discovered by accident that I wasn’t cooking them quite long enough.)

While those pots are going, mix together 3/4 cup Hellmann’s mayonnaise, 1/4 cup Grey Poupon, 1 TBS brown sugar, and 2 TBS lemon juice. [As always, the brand names I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change their formulas without warning. Always double-check your labels.]

Stir until the sugar has fully dissolved, and then add 1/2 tsp Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce, 1 tsp pepper, and 1 tsp salt.

When the potatoes are done, drain them and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking process.

See how the peels just fall right off after the potatoes are cooked? It’s so much easier than scraping them all by hand with a vegetable peeler.

After you’ve discarded the peels, mash the potatoes. It’s up to you how chunky you want the final product to be, but I recommend nothing bigger than a half-inch or so.

If I can crack an egg with one hand, you’d better believe I can peel one with one hand, too. I just love action shots with water, they always look so cool. Anyway, as you can see, the eggs are done and now we’re peeling them.

And now we’re using my favorite kitchen tool of all time, the egg slicer. I wish everything were this fun to dice.

Add 1 tsp of minced garlic (or two cloves, if you have fresh garlic lying around, but I never do, so I use this handy jarred stuff.)

Make sure the potato mixture is cool, and then add in the dressing. Stir and stir until it’s completely incorporated. Now, this is one of those dishes that needs to sit in the refrigerator for awhile to let the flavors mellow and blend. Trust me, if you taste it now, you’ll say to yourself, “Ugh! That’s way too overpowering, no child would ever eat that! The GFCF Lady is a fraud!” But let it sit for at least an hour, and the potatoes will soak up all those delicious flavors and balance everything out, I promise.

Oh man, that’s what I’m talking about. I could eat this stuff all day long.

Happy Eating!

The GFCF Lady’s Smashed Potato Salad

3 lbs. medium gold potatoes
3 eggs
3/4 cup Hellman’s mayonnaise
1/4 cup Grey Poupon
1 TBS brown sugar
2 TBS lemon juice
1/2 tsp Lea & Perrin’s worcestershire sauce
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp salt
1 tsp (2 cloves) minced garlic